Write It Tight
by John Bowers
It takes a really good query to get a publisher’s (or agent’s) attention, but what really sells your book is the book itself. The query might be a masterpiece, but if the novel isn’t at least as good, you’re going to be rejected.
Agents and publishers are inundated with material, most of it bad. If you’re going to rise above the mob, your book has to have something special. A compelling, well-plotted story is obviously necessary, but it’s amazing how many well conceived stories are just plain badly written. To sell your story, it needs to be written well, and the best way to do that is to write it tightly.
Tight writing, like tight pants, gets noticed.
Just What Do You Mean, Tight?
What, exactly, do I mean by “tight writing”? Tight writing is the ability - and this can be acquired through practice - of describing a scene or situation as efficiently as possible, using economy of words and memorable language. Suppose you are describing a large boardroom in a corporate office. You could describe it this way:
It was a big room, fifty feet long. There was a big wooden table in the middle of the room. There were twenty chairs on each side of the table. There were flowers in the center of the table. There was a fireplace at the head of the room. There was a plaque above the fireplace with the company logo on it. There was a shadowbox at the other end of the room with sales trophies in it. There were pictures of company executives on the other walls.
Does anything jump out at you here? There was this, there was that… The paragraph is descriptive, but deadly boring.
Now let’s rewrite the description:
The boardroom was centered around a long mahogany table that seated forty. A company logo dominated the wall above the fireplace at one end; opposite hung a shadow box filled with sales trophies. Portraits of company executives lined the room on both sides. A brilliant bouquet decorated the conference table.
See the difference? Not only is the second description more attractive, it’s only 50 words as opposed to 88…in other words, it’s tighter. (The words you save can be important if your market is bullish on word count.)
Not every paragraph has to be dominated by glowing prose, but almost any paragraph can be made tighter by simply cutting out the unnecessary. You don’t usually need to describe every minute detail of a scene; most readers are sophisticated enough that their imaginations can supply detail if you give them a guideline. If, for example, you want to describe a prison camp, most readers will automatically assume guard towers, barbed wire, and row upon row of prison barracks. Describe only what you need for the story, leave the rest to the reader.
Write It…Then Write It Again
You may think this is hard, but it really isn’t. The daunting part is trying to write tightly in the first draft. If you have to stop and think about every paragraph as you write, you may find the creative process being stifled. Just remember that, if you plan to sell your work, you won’t be writing it, you’ll be rewriting it. The first draft is where you get the story out of your head and down on paper (or disk). When you’ve done that, you’re ready for the real work.
My first draft is never tight. I tend to be very verbose, describing everything in sight, telling readers all the obvious things they don’t really need to know. It’s when I go back through the second (or third, fourth, fifth) pass that I start cleaning it up. Awkward sentences, cluttered paragraphs, passive phrases - all those get hit in the later drafts. That’s when I look for just the right adjective or adverb, when I replace boring verbs with action verbs, when I try to cut out everything that isn’t necessary.
If you’re just starting out, you may not like the idea of rewriting. I didn’t. Back in the old days, when I finished a book or short story, I was finished. I had others to write, so I never rewrote anything.
I never sold anything, either.
We’re not using typewriters any more. With computer software, you don’t have to retype the whole book. Make copies of the original, then use a copy for the rewrite. Change only what needs to be changed. It isn’t that hard, and it can be fun when, after you’re done, you compare the original with the rewrite. You’ll be amazed at how much better your story becomes, how much more fun it is to read.
And you’ll have a better shot at a sale.
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John Bowers began his first “novel” at age 13. It took him nine months and was only 30,000 words, but he finished it. His first published science fiction novel, A Vow to Sophia, is available at AKW Books in eBook form. The sequel, The Fighter Queen, was originally written as part of Vow but was split off because the resulting book was much too large for publication. The Fighter Queen is now also available. His next book in the Fighter Queen saga, The Fighter King, is in progress and will be a “prequel” to A Vow to Sophia. |
Tags: descriptions, drafts, rewrite, saleable, tight, unnecessary prose
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